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My parents say I am a failure because I am not as good as my siblings in academics

My parents say I am a failure because I am not as good as my siblings in academics March 11, 2019

I share your pains. I can easily relate to the feeling of inadequacy that could result when those that we look upto for positive feedback tell us that we are worth nothing. However, while others’ negative feedback could make us to feel bad, we are more affected by the way we judge ourselves. What do you think about yourself? Do you see yourself like a failure or as someone who can and will succeed?

Sometimes, we make the mistake of comparing ourselves with others in areas where they may be better than we are and begin to see ourselves like failures. We often forget that each of us is unique and that there may be other areas where we are better off. The fact that your siblings are doing better in school than yourself does not mean that they are better than you are. If you look inward, you may discover other aspects where you are very good.

We do not need to be good in all aspects of life to live a great life. All that we need is to identify one area where we are very good, develope ourslves in that area and strive to excel in that area. This brings me to the next question; is your course of study in consonance with your interests and potentials? Are you happy about your course of study or are you studying that course just because it is what your parents or others want for you? If you are not interested in your course of study, it is most unlikely that you will excel in that course. If the course is the problem, it is never too late to change to a course that you are passionate about.

Perhaps the course is not the problem and that you are merely having challenges at the moment. This means that you can do better once the challenges are adequately handled. Therefore, the next step is to identify the challenges that inhibit your performance.

What do you think are the challenges? Are there biological inhibitions? If yes, then you may have to see your doctor. Do you have emotional challenges? If so, you need to talk to a counsellor or a psychologist. Do you attend lecturs regularly? Do you take down notes or do you have adequate access to study materials? Do you pay attention in class? Do you turn in assignments as at when due? Do you understand when you study? If you understand, do you try to meditate after studying and make effort to recall severally before tests and examinations? Lets assume recalling is not the problem, do you express your answers as adequately as possible during tests and examinations? It is one thing to know the appropriate response to a question but it is another to know how to adequately express your response. Remember that it is only what you put down that the examiner would assess and not what is in your head. Do you get involved in examination malpractice? Who are your friends? It is easier to succeed when your friends are serious minded students whose attitudes will encourage you to work hard than when your friends are those without positive influence. The above questions are meant to help you to clarify the problem and thus make it easier to arrive at solutions.

While working to improve your performance, please, always remember that your goal is not to compete with your siblings or others but to become the best that you have the potentials to become. Do not bother about those who think you are a failure. If you focus on personal growth and work hard towards it, it will only take a little time for people around you to change their impressions about you.

If you need further help, do not hesitate to get in touch.

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