Why You Should Share Your Problems – Rosemary Oshiomah Ogedengbe,PhD

Are you experiencing a difficult moment in your work, business, relationship, finance, physical or mental health and you are wondering if it is necessary to tell someone about it? You may have listened to many people who discourage sharing of personal problems with others. You may have heard statements such as , “don’t talk about your marital problems” , “don’t discuss your spouse with anyone”, “stop talking about your parenting challenges”, ” you are not the only one with financial challenges why are you embarrassing yourself by talking about it?” Who ever says you shouldn’t share your problems is absolutely wrong. While it is a fact that sharing your problems with the wrong person can compound the situation, it doesn’t mean that sharing one’s challenges in itself is wrong or a sign of weakness. It is so dangerous not to share your challenges. Not sharing your challenges, whether they relate to your work, business, health or relationship can increase your risk of developing mental health problems, such as anxiety and depression, and can also lead to suicide. Research has shown that individuals who bottle up their problems are more prone to depression and suicide than those who talk about their problems.

Benefits of Talking About Your Problems

Talking about your problems with someone who cares about you provides the opportunity to explore perspectives that may not be visible to you. Have you ever heard the saying, “two good heads are better than one”? As it is commonly said in my country, a snake seen by one person is usually “very big”. Sometimes, our problems may seem larger or more difficult to us than they actually are as we ruminate over them. This usually happens because we may feel overwhelmed by our anxiety about such problems, to the point that our ability to think clearly is compromised. This can happen to anyone irrespective of their level of intelligence or experience. Hence, sharing with someone can provide the needed opportunity to view your challenges from diverse perspectives, and consequently promote greater chances for solutions.

Sharing brings relief. Talking with a friend or someone who genuinely cares about you provides an opportunity to ventilate. Sometimes, the person you are sharing with may not have the answers that you seek but simply talking about the problem and how you feel about it can bring about some relief.

Whom Should You Share With?

As mentioned earlier, it is okay to share your problems. Sharing your problem is not a problem but whom you share with may be a problem. Here are some questions to help you to choose whom to talk to about your challenges:

1. Who truly cares about your wellbeing? It is not everyone who hangs out with you or calls themselves your friend that is a friend in the real sense of it. Anyone who has shown that they are envious of your progress may feel better when you have a problem. Such a person may not be interested in the solution to your struggles. You are one of the most fortunate ones if you have at least one person that loves you for you, and is always proud of your progress. Only those who are happy about your happiness are good enough to share your problems with.
2. Will they protect your privacy? You do not want your private life and personal struggles to become a gist topic for the public. Anyone who can’t be trusted to maintain confidentiality could compound a bad situation.
3. Is this person a professional? There are people who are trained and have the skills to help others with challenges in different aspects of life. They provide professional guidance and are also able to maintain confidentiality. They include marriage and relationship counsellors, parenting counsellors, career and personal growth counsellors, mental health counsellors, financial and business consultants, legal advisers, medical doctors, clinical psychologists, psychiatrists, etc. A professional will provide quality guidance and also protect your privacy. Please, talk about your problems. Bottling up is not helpful. You can reach us directly on 09034429130.