For Counselling CALL : +2349034429130

Give Children the Opportunity to Explain their Actions

December 12, 2018101 Comments
Give Children the Opportunity to Explain their Actions December 12, 2018101 Comments

A 4 year old boy went to his  dad on a Saturday morning,  crying.  This was their conversation :

Dad: Why are you crying? 

Son: Mommy  hit me

Dad: What did you do? 

Son: Nothing 

Dad: How do you mean nothing? 

Son: I did nothing wrong, daddy.

Surprised,  the man called his wife and said,  “Daniel has been crying, he said you hit him.  I know he must have done something stupid.”   ” Of course, ”  said the wife.  “can you imagine? he was playing with the electric kettle.”  Then the conversation  between father and son continued:

Dad: Daniel, you said you did nothing wrong but your mom said you were playing with the electric kettle. 

Son: Yes,  dad,  I did nothing wrong.  I wasn’t playing with the electric kettle. I wanted to boil water so I could make you a surprise  cup of tea because today is your birthday  and I know you  like your tea very hot.  

It is true that children could be mischievous but  sometimes,  they do have good motives for their  actions even thought they  may get things  upside down  while trying to do the right thing. 

Children think.   They most times have clearly set objectives for their actions, though they often  mess things up  due to lack of experience. However,  we may never discover these motives  or the intelligence behind their actions unless we give them the opportunity to explain their actions. 

Punishing children without asking them questions  or telling them their offences may leave them confused.  In the case of the boy in our case study,   we know that his mom was  concerned about his safety but as far as the little boy was concerned,  he just got punished for taking the initiative to make  daddy a surprise cup of tea on his birthday.   This is enough to inhibit the discretion and creativity  of any child.  The punishment was not necessary in the first place.  All that the mother  needed to have done after preventing the little boy from  using the  electric kettle himself,  was to find out exactly  what the young man  was up-to.  Perhaps  he would have shared his idea with  mommy,  and  she would have  assisted him in making his dream  of a surprise birthday tea for his daddy come true.  After then,  she could  explain to him that it is dangerous for him to use the electric kettle by himself.  Children are smarter than adults realise, though we often mistake their  lack of experience  for foolishness. 

When next your child does  anything wrong, don’t  just go ahead to punish.  Ask questions.  The questions to ask  children include: 

-how did this happen? 

-what were you trying to achieve? 

-what were your thoughts? 

-Do you think there is a better way you could have gone about this?  

-if you  were to do this  again,  what would you do differently?  

Rosemary Oshiomah Ogedengbe

101 comments

  3. One time, my son had stressed me so much so he wanted to hug me, I didnt know so I looked at him with a ‘warning eye’ to leave me alone, he hesitated a little but still hugged me. I gave him a big hug and apologised when I realized my mistake.

    Reply

  4. Wow, amazing blog structure! How long have you ever been running a blog for? you make running a blog glance easy. The full glance of your website is great, as neatly as the content! Carri Kasper Slocum

    Reply

  7. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something which I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and very broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it! Maxy Aron Weisman

    Reply

  9. I was very pleased to find this web site. I need to to thank you for your time for this wonderful read!! I definitely liked every part of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff in your site. Marya Todd Formenti

    Reply

  10. I have learn a few good stuff here. Certainly worth bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how so much effort you put to make the sort of great informative website. Bel Neddie Hashimoto

    Reply

  11. Hi there. I found your website via Google at the same time as looking for a comparable subject, your web site got here up. It appears to be great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then. Loutitia Lockwood Ikeda

    Reply

  13. A lovely post. Thanks for sharing! I am a Creative Life Coach with a poetry blog and here is my poem today in case you have time to look? Bernie Keene Falzetta

    Reply

  16. Hey there. I found your blog by the use of Google whilst looking for a similar matter, your site got here up. It looks good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then. Pietra Vernen Froh

    Reply

  17. Wow! You certainly included all important points with your post. I would like to read more by you. Do you maintain any more blogs? Junette Ugo Grenville

    Reply

  21. This is a great tip especially to those fresh to the blogosphere. Brief but very accurate info?Appreciate your sharing this one. A must read article! Aretha Herculie Zacks

    Reply

  23. You made some nice points there. I looked on the internet for the subject matter and found most individuals will agree with your site. Cristal Abbie McWherter

    Reply

  25. I have been browsing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all site owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be much more useful than ever before.| Zorah Dudley Helli

    Reply

  32. I got this website from my friend who told me on the topic of this site and at the moment this time I am visiting this site and reading very informative articles or reviews at this place. Aryn Bertram Bauer

    Reply

  35. Hey there. I discovered your web site via Google even as looking for a similar matter, your site got here up. It appears great. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to visit then. Elnore Allan Colvert

    Reply

  37. I know this web page presents quality based posts and additional information, is there any other website which presents these kinds of information in quality? Roana Beck Maureene

    Reply

  38. A fascinating discussion is definitely worth comment.
    I think that you should publish more about this subject matter, it may not be a
    taboo subject but typically people do not talk about these topics.
    To the next! Best wishes!!

    Reply

  62. Okay, I admit it. You have actually recorded my attention. I do not typically publish talk about blogs, but you have actually earned it. I have a newly found interest in this topic and can not wait to see even more blog posts from you in the future. Thanks for offering a lot details in a solitary blog post!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Let others know about this page

Looking for an Outstanding Child Therapist?

Meet our expert team
WhatsApp chat