For Counselling CALL : +2349034429130

Why Hard Work Doesn’t Make Sense Anymore

June 4, 2019266 Comments
Why Hard Work Doesn’t Make Sense Anymore June 4, 2019266 Comments

Someone asked me recently, why I think hard work does not matter in contemporary society, especially among young people. While we must recognize and celebrate the young people out there who have managed to achieve great feats through tenacious efforts, we can’t but acknowledge the reality that many people in today’s society, and I dare to say, not only the young ones but also adults do not seem to see any sense in hard work. However, for the purpose of this write up, I would like to focus on young people, since my interest here is parenting.

So, why is it that hard work doesn’t seem to make sense to many young people?

The reasons are numerous but I would like to discuss only a few that I consider to be the most crucial influences.

Today’s Parents are Doing Everything for their Children :

Child development psychologists have established that an individual’s attitude to work – whether the individual is predominantly work -oriented and consequently hard working or pleasure -oriented and consequently lazy is developed during childhood, specifically, from age 3 and consolidated during adolescence. This orientation is largely the result of parenting and experiences during childhood and adolescence. From the age of 3, a child begins to exhibit the need for autonomy. The child takes initiative to do things and insists on being allowed to do certain things without being assisted, such as brushing his teeth, dressing up and helping with chores. If the child’s initiative and efforts are appreciated and encouraged, and the child is provided with opportunities to apply himself within the sphere of his capability (with helpful supervision), the child develops confidence in his own initiative and effort and consequently develops self-motivation for hard work.

On the contrary, if his initiative and effort are despised or criticized or he even gets punished because he did not perform the task correctly, or altogether prevented from doing things because his parents are over protective and have hired domestic assistants to do everything for him, the child would not only lose confidence in his own initiative and effort but may also learn to wait for others to decide and do things for him. As the child continues to relax, watching movies or playing while the domestic assistants do everything for him, including taking care of his room, washing his clothes, clearing the table and doing the dishes for him after meals, at an age where he is mature enough to do these things by himself, the child gradually loses the opportunity to learn to assert himself both mentally and physically.

If this trend continues at adolescence, the result would be a young person who simply wants to relax, have fun and enjoy the best things of life without any effort. This young person is not willing to work because he has been conditioned to simply relax and he has grown to see hard work as unnecessary and avoidable stress.

This young man gets into the university and he can’t bear to sit still for a 2hr lecture, let alone study for hours in preparation for examination, and this is not surprising because in the first instance, his parents probably paid others to write his O’Levels for him, and influenced his admission.

How can he suddenly begin to work hard now? That would be too much to expect. His parents must in addition to his upkeep allowance, make provision for sorting out his lecturers or course mates for assistance if he must graduate.

What about after graduation? Can this young person be expected to thrive in the competitive world of work? That would be asking for the impossible.

Misplacement of Values by Society:

Today’s society celebrates outcomes without taking cognisance of the processes. No one is interested in how anyone achieves whatever. We say the “end” justifies the “means”. So, we do not bother about “the means”, we simply celebrate the “ends”. “Just show us your result, we don’t care about how you got it”. Everyday, society makes these statements in many ways to young people. We hardly acknowledge ingenuity and integrity but we decorate and promote criminals as long as they have substance to show.

Hard work must be combined with consistency and patience in order to produce worthwhile results. Unfortunately, there’s no place for patience in today’s society, not even in religious circles do we teach patience anymore. The popular perception is ” get it now or never” As a result, the tendency to choose shortcuts above hard work (that requires a long and tedious process) is extremely high. Any society that operates by the above principles encourages desperation and shortcuts, and should not expect hard work from the young ones.

Many Adults are Showing Bad Examples:

As I mentioned earlier, the deviation from the path of hard work is not only among young people. Many adults are not good models for young people. Many adults cheat and intimidate others in order to achieve their goals, unknown to them that they are setting negative precepts for their wards. In families where cheating and intimidation are the keys to success, it would be an aberration to expect anything different from the young ones.

What can we do to Change this Trend?

If you want your child to grow into a hard working young man or woman, it is expedient to start early to train the child to work . Let your child learn from an early age that work is not punishment and that we can neither survive nor enjoy life unless we work and work hard. Stop making others to do for your child what he/she should do for him or herself. Your child does not need a special centre to pass his O’Levels. Provide the study materials, get him a private tutor if necessary and encourage him to study, and if he is not ready to study, let him repeat. This may sound harsh but it is the only way for him to learn. Parents may buy Good grades for their wards but they can’t be employed on their behalf. Equip your child to face life.

We would be able to change this trend when we as adults and parents begin to demonstrate in our own lives, the significance of consistent hard work and learn to commend our young ones for their efforts, and not always judge them by the results of their peers. We need to show them by examples that the “means” is as important as the “end”. Let us teach them that though hard work involves a long and tedious process, it is the only path that can guarantee lasting success.

Parents should stop mounting pressure on their young ones to achieve. Young people need encouragement and not pressure to succeed. When young people are encouraged, they are more psychologically stable to focus and improve their efforts, and this encourages hard work. On the contrary, when they are under pressure to achieve, they tend to lose confidence in their abilities and they may seek alternative routs that do not encourage hard work. One of the best ways to encourage consistency and patience, is to celebrate your wards for making tangible efforts even when the desired results are not yet visible. This encourages hard work.

No matter how much you love your child, and no matter how much you are willing to do for them, one thing is certain, you can’t face life for them. The best you can do for your child is to equip them to face life.

Dr. Rosemary Oshiomah Ogedengbe

266 comments

  3. Thank you for this piece. Cheating has become ‘noble’ in this society. Money has become the voice of ‘excellence’, ‘success’ Integrity is not even recognised not to talk of being appreciated . Parents are not up-standing in being good models due to the state of our society. We feel that ones our own immediate family is OK ,what goes on in the society does not matter. Mean while no family leaves in isolation. Parents should have strong feelings for other members in the society. This will promote love. If we have love for others we will not treat anyone less as if we are the only one with feelings. God bless you ma.

    Reply

  5. Excellent piece. Valid points. Worth sharing. It’s a message/theme I preach to my kids a lot.

    I will share with my girls (who you know) and others in my network so they can “hear it from you” as well.

    Please keep up the good work you’re doing both on and off the web. You ARE making a difference.

    Cheers!
    PS: Tried repeatedly to click LIKE on your Facebook page but keep getting an error message from Facebook (it says “Sorry something went wrong. Try again later. “

    Reply

  11. Fine way of describing, and nice post to take information about my presentation subject, which i am going to convey in school. Nadya Ezequiel Goody

    Reply

  13. Very handful of sites that happen to be in depth beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly nicely really worth checking out. Gaby Hiram Biddy

    Reply

  15. Everything is very open with a really clear clarification of the issues. It was truly informative. Your website is very useful. Thanks for sharing. Arlina Bil Kesia

    Reply

  20. Ahaa, its good conversation about this post here at this webpage, I have read all that, so at this time me also commenting at this place. Bobbe Freddy Leonhard

    Reply

  27. I absolutely love your blog and find a lot of your post’s to be
    just what I’m looking for. can you offer guest writers to write content for yourself?
    I wouldn’t mind publishing a post or elaborating
    on a few of the subjects you write about here. Again, awesome web site!

    Reply

  28. A fascinating discussion is definitely worth comment.
    I believe that you should write more on this subject matter, it might not be a taboo
    matter but typically folks don’t discuss these issues.

    To the next! Cheers!!

    Reply

  29. Great blog! Do you have any recommendations for aspiring writers?
    I’m planning to start my own site soon but I’m a
    little lost on everything. Would you recommend starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are
    so many choices out there that I’m totally overwhelmed ..

    Any recommendations? Thanks!

    Reply

  30. I really like your blog.. very nice colors
    & theme. Did you create this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you?
    Plz answer back as I’m looking to design my own blog and would
    like to know where u got this from. many thanks

    Reply

  31. Hello, i read your blog from time to time and
    i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you
    get a lot of spam remarks? If so how do you stop it,
    any plugin or anything you can recommend? I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any help
    is very much appreciated.

    Reply

  32. I believe what you wrote was very reasonable.
    However, what about this? suppose you were to write a killer title?
    I ain’t saying your content is not solid, however what if you added a headline that grabbed folk’s attention? I mean Why Hard Work Doesn't Make Sense Anymore – Rapha Counselling Concepts is a little
    boring. You ought to glance at Yahoo’s home page and
    note how they create news headlines to grab people to click.
    You might add a video or a picture or two to grab people interested about what you’ve written. In my opinion, it would
    bring your blog a little bit more interesting.

    Reply

  33. With havin so much written content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright violation?
    My blog has a lot of exclusive content I’ve either
    authored myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of it
    is popping it up all over the web without my agreement.

    Do you know any solutions to help reduce content from being ripped
    off? I’d truly appreciate it.

    Reply

  37. Generally I don’t learn article on blogs, however I would
    like to say that this write-up very pressured me to try and do so!
    Your writing taste has been amazed me. Thank you,
    quite great article.

    Reply

  39. I am only commenting to make you understand what a superb experience my wife’s princess found going through your web site. She realized such a lot of issues, which include what it is like to possess an excellent helping mood to let other individuals with ease understand selected complicated subject matter. You actually surpassed people’s expected results. Many thanks for giving those essential, trusted, informative as well as easy guidance on that topic to Emily.

    Reply

  40. Can I simply say what a aid to find somebody who actually is aware of what theyre speaking about on the internet. You undoubtedly know how one can bring an issue to mild and make it important. More folks have to learn this and understand this facet of the story. I cant imagine youre not more popular since you positively have the gift.

    Reply

  45. My wife and i have been really thrilled that Ervin could finish off his reports through the ideas he came across when using the site. It’s not at all simplistic to just always be making a gift of secrets that others have been selling. And we also keep in mind we have got you to give thanks to for this. The entire illustrations you have made, the easy site navigation, the relationships you help to engender – it’s most impressive, and it’s facilitating our son and our family believe that that matter is enjoyable, which is really essential. Many thanks for the whole lot!

    Reply

  46. I precisely had to appreciate you once more. I’m not certain the things I might have handled in the absence of the strategies shared by you about such problem. It had been a real difficult setting for me, however , encountering your specialised fashion you processed it made me to cry with happiness. Extremely happy for your support and as well , hope you really know what a great job you’re doing training the mediocre ones all through your site. More than likely you have never got to know all of us.

    Reply

  47. Hi there it’s me, I am also visiting this site regularly,
    this website is in fact good and the viewers are
    truly sharing pleasant thoughts.

    Reply

  48. I definitely wanted to compose a brief comment to say thanks to you for these wonderful concepts you are showing here. My extended internet search has at the end of the day been honored with professional tips to go over with my company. I would say that many of us site visitors actually are unequivocally blessed to live in a superb site with many special people with very beneficial methods. I feel rather fortunate to have used your entire webpage and look forward to plenty of more cool minutes reading here. Thanks once more for everything.

    Reply

  49. I have to show my admiration for your generosity supporting people that have the need for guidance on that concern. Your real dedication to getting the message all-around was exceptionally effective and has continually allowed folks just like me to arrive at their targets. Your helpful instruction denotes much to me and additionally to my office workers. Warm regards; from all of us.

    Reply

  50. I must express appreciation to the writer just for bailing me out of such a condition. After browsing throughout the the net and meeting tips which were not beneficial, I figured my entire life was gone. Living without the approaches to the problems you’ve solved as a result of this site is a critical case, and those which might have in a wrong way affected my career if I hadn’t encountered your web page. That ability and kindness in handling the whole lot was excellent. I am not sure what I would have done if I had not discovered such a step like this. I can also at this moment relish my future. Thank you very much for this high quality and result oriented guide. I won’t hesitate to refer the sites to anyone who should have guide about this subject.

    Reply

  52. Great goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are just too great. I actually like what you have acquired here, certainly like what you’re saying and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it wise. I can’t wait to read much more from you. This is really a tremendous website.

    Reply

  132. Thanks for the sensible critique. Me & my neighbor were just preparing to do some research on this. We got a grab a book from our area library but I think I learned more from this post. I am very glad to see such wonderful information being shared freely out there.

    Reply

  136. Magnificent items from you, man. I have be aware your stuff prior to and you’re simply too magnificent. I really like what you have bought right here, certainly like what you are saying and the best way through which you are saying it. You’re making it entertaining and you still care for to keep it wise. I can’t wait to learn much more from you. That is actually a great site.

    Reply

  146. Based on my research, after a the foreclosure home is marketed at a sale, it is common for the borrower in order to still have some sort ofthat remaining unpaid debt on the bank loan. There are many loan companies who aim to have all service fees and liens repaid by the future buyer. Nonetheless, depending on selected programs, legislation, and state laws there may be a few loans that aren’t easily settled through the shift of personal loans. Therefore, the obligation still rests on the consumer that has acquired his or her property in foreclosure. Many thanks for sharing your notions on this site.

    Reply

  147. I am not sure where you are getting your information, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for fantastic information I was looking for this info for my mission.

    Reply

  150. Hi, just required you to know I he added your site to my Google bookmarks due to your layout. But seriously, I believe your internet site has 1 in the freshest theme I??ve came across.

    Reply

  175. Hi, just required you to know I he added your site to my Google bookmarks due to your layout. But seriously, I believe your internet site has 1 in the freshest theme I??ve came across.

    Reply

  189. Hi, just required you to know I he added your site to my Google bookmarks due to your layout. But seriously, I believe your internet site has 1 in the freshest theme I??ve came across.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Let others know about this page

Looking for an Outstanding Child Therapist?

Meet our expert team
WhatsApp chat